Ai No Wansaido
by Midnight Scarlet
Summary: *Yaoi* Sort of Seto/Jou... Seto talks about his life now and his feelings toward someone...*One Shot*


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or the translated version of the song "Todukanu Omoi"!  
  
Mid-S: Hey people! I've decided to write another Seto/Jounouchi fic.sort of. It's actually all angst. The title of the story means "One Sided Love" ^_^  
  
Yami: Why am I so -  
  
Mid-S: DON'T SAY ANYTHING YAMI! YOU'LL GIVE THE STORY AWAY!  
  
Yami: Oo; Okay, no need to yell.  
  
Mid-S: Thank you. ^_^ Now on with the fic!  
  
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~*In my dreams, how many times have we  
  
Given each other tender kisses  
  
When I look into your round eyes  
  
I am drawn into them*~  
  
Love. It's a word we use everyday, a feeling that's so strong, you can never escape it. When you love someone, as they tell you in books, they're supposed to love you back and you two are going to live 'happily ever after'.  
  
But in real life, it doesn't happen that way.  
  
I love someone. I've always loved them, no matter what other people may think. I never hated this special person, even though I act like I do. I acted like I did, so I could try to forget my feelings towards them. It didn't work. I actually found myself falling even deeper in love with them.  
  
You want to know who it is don't you? Well, I'll tell you.  
  
I Seto Kaiba, am in love with Jounouchi Katsuya.  
  
Yes, you can stare at me like I'm crazy, ask me if I'm feeling okay or that you might have heard me wrong. But I love him and there's nothing in the world that can change that fact.  
  
Oh, when I think about it, how many times have I dreamed that my 'puppy' would come to me and kiss me tenderly, tell me how much he loves me. More times then I can count.  
  
Whenever I gaze into his beautiful honey eyes, I get lost completely in them. They have so much feeling deep inside them: anger, confusion, faith, humor...love. To bad it's not directed towards me.  
  
~*Dropping off to sleep held by you  
  
Like that, I'm wrapped in you  
  
warmth  
  
Oh, if I could never wake up from  
  
this  
  
I yell that out with pain*~  
  
I don't ever stop thinking about you, Jou, ever. I doesn't matter where I am, what I'm doing, you're always there.  
  
I remember that day when we where playing soccer in school. It was my team against yours, the score was tied 4-4.  
  
You where the goalie, I recall. You where playing good that day, your eyes where filled with excitement that I only see in you when you play Duel Monsters.  
  
I was so mesmerized by your eyes, that I forgot we where playing soccer. So of course, without watching where I was going, I tripped over a rock and rammed my head into the goal post.  
  
The only thing I remember after that is you holding me in your arms, slapping my face lightly, to see if I would move at all.  
  
I had no clue why you would run to help me and I still don't know now.  
  
It felt so wonderful in your arms. I was so warm, and I felt...safe actually. I had already forgotten how it felt to be safe.  
  
But soon I heard you say you where going to get the nurse, so I moaned softly and opened my eyes slowly. I must have convinced you I had been unconscious, because you where asking me if I was okay, if I needed the nurse. I swear that I saw worry flash through your eyes.  
  
And I felt...wanted for once in my life.  
  
~*Because my heart is beating so  
  
Quickly  
  
I know myself that this is for real  
  
This heartache is too much, I've  
  
Grown tired of it  
  
I won't give up on this*~  
  
I know this isn't much, but it meant so much to me and still does.  
  
My god, if you knew Jou what I think about when I see you, you would never even *look* at me again.  
  
My heart beats faster every time I see you, every time I even hear your name spoken by anyone.  
  
The first time we met in the game shop, I had already fallen for you. I had come there to see the Blue Eyes White Dragon card, but instead the first thing I saw was you. I think that was the only time you where actually smiling in my presence.  
  
I was already scared of my feelings, so insulting you, I moved to see the card.  
  
The next time I saw you was in my duel against Yugi for the Blue Eyes. I noticed you standing there, gaping at my dragons, your eyes wide and your mouth open.  
  
I guess I wanted to impress you with my dueling skills, wanted to show you who the better man was between Yugi and I. I thought that maybe you would notice me, like me more if I beat that pathetic duelist you call a friend...but I had already lost you then.  
  
~*If only we had met earlier  
  
All I can find is that excuse  
  
To the distances where the moonlight  
  
Doesn't reach  
  
Oh, I want to take you away there*~  
  
You must be thinking;  
  
"What is his problem? Why doesn't he say something?"  
  
If you are, then you had better listen up now.  
  
Jou doesn't love me back. Simple enough ne? Why doesn't he love me?  
  
Because someone has already beaten me to him, that's why.  
  
Everyone keeps telling me I'll find someone good for me, someone who will care about me as much as I care about them. But I don't want anyone else.  
  
I want you Jou, I want my puppy. I want to hold you, care for you, have you to tell me that no one will ever take my place in your heart.  
  
Maybe if we had met before that fateful day, things would have been different between us.  
  
Damn it Jou, I would give the world to you if you asked me for it! I would give you anything you could ever want!  
  
...But you don't want me do you? No, you'd much rather be with *him* the damn bastard.  
  
~*Shining as the sun rises  
  
Your smiling face is too brilliant  
  
Like this, I will go deep inside  
  
I am scared of being alone*~  
  
He can't give you anything Jounouchi. He can't give you what I can give you. He doesn't love you, *need* you like I do.  
  
I watch you when you don't think I do. I see what no one else sees and no one knows.  
  
I see how smart you are when you want to be. You aced that math test, I know you did. I saw your face light up with happiness when you got your results.  
  
But you don't want people to see the real you. You hid the paper in your bag before any of your friends saw it. Are you afraid to let people know the real you?  
  
Maybe you don't want people to get to close to you, just admire you from afar.  
  
You remind me of the sun. People admire your beauty, but they don't get too close, never finding out what you can really do.  
  
When you smile and laugh with Yugi or the others, it makes my heart swell with pleasure. I love seeing you smile. It can make the darkest of my days brighter. That's all it takes from you to make me happy.  
  
But you don't notice me and truthfully...I don't want to be alone without you anymore.  
  
~*Suddenly ringing out, the PHS is  
  
Coming across the distance between  
  
Us  
  
You say I'm a friend, you say I'm a  
  
Nice guy  
  
I just don't understand*~  
  
Yesterday is the one-day I think I'll remember forever. You came up to me at lunch while I was reading. You weren't with any of your friends, just by yourself.  
  
You where all happy and actually said hi, without any insults thrown at me. I put down my book immediately and asked if you were okay.  
  
You said you where better then ever. I asked why. And what you told me made me want to die right then and there.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Why are you so happy mutt? Did you finally learn how to sit?"  
  
"Even your insults won't hurt me today Kaiba. Yami said he loves me and after that nothing can hurt me! I can't believe he feels the same way I do!"  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I picked up my book and went back to reading while you just stared at me, obviously annoyed that I was saying nothing. So you just shrugged and left.  
  
You left me alone, trying to mend my heart again. I don't think I'll ever be able to.  
  
~*Yesterday you where so sweet to me  
  
But now, you're being held in his  
  
Arms...*~  
  
So that's my story, my heartbreak.  
  
I lost him, the one person I loved to my *rival* of all people.  
  
I saw them today, together in the park. I had come there to study, to try and forget about Jou. But then I saw Yami and 'his' koi holding each other.  
  
Yami was stroking the soft blonde hair that I love so much, letting it flow through his fingers.  
  
Even seeing that felt like a million knives where going into my heart.  
  
When they kissed, I almost broke down and cried. I quickly left the park. I don't think they noticed I was even there.  
  
And god knows how much it hurt, still hurts, to see those two together.  
  
If I didn't have my responsibilities, I'd take my own life. It would be easier then putting up with all this pain.  
  
And now, as I sit here in my room, looking out into the night sky, I can't help but wonder if we could have ever been together.  
  
"Goodnight...my puppy." I whisper into the night, hoping that somehow, some way, my words will reach you.  
  
~*To the distances where the moonlight  
  
Doesn't reach  
  
Oh, I want to take you away there  
  
If only we had met earlier  
  
All I can find is that excuse...*~  
  
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Mid-S: *sobbing on her yami's shoulder* NEVER AGAIN, NEVER AGAIN!!  
  
YMS: -_- *sigh* Calm down hikari...  
  
Mid-S: NO I WON'T CALM DOWN! HOW COULD I EVEN WRITE THAT? HOW CAN I LIVE WITH MYSELF NOW?  
  
Bakura: Do you want me to put you out of your misery? *holds up knife and grins evilly*  
  
Mid-S: O_O Eep!  
  
Jou: Why was I in love with Yami? *glares at her and takes out a club*  
  
Mid-S: O_____O Double eep!  
  
YMS: Okay, that's it, enough of this pitiful display!  
  
Mid-S: *running from Jou* Read and review please mina-san! JA NE! 


End file.
